Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - Rewriting History

Thoughts On: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

**Note. This is quite a big post. There's lots of words and it's a bit nuts. However, the end result is an absurd theory you need to know. So keep with me.

The fate of humanity and all hopes of a peaceful future rely on that Keanu Reeves impression we all do, you know, the 'No way...' one, and Alex Winter. The two, to put it politely, enthusiastic, but not so smart dudes are about to fail they're history class. But, with the help of George Carlin - Rufus, they can ride a telephone box through the circuits of time, collecting and uprooting historical figures for a truly excellent oral assessment that'll save the world.

Why am I analysing this film? Firstly, I like it... a lot... a bit more than maybe I should. I grew up with it, so, what can I say? But secondly, I think it's quite profound in that--BUT IT'S BILL &TED! Ok. Yes, this is a dumb movie, but only in tone - and possibly intentionally. I am not about to look too deep into a film here. Unconsciously or not, art is art. This film, in a certain sense, is no different from Eraserhead or The Mirror. Yes, I just cited Lynch and Tarkovsky. But, listen. Both directors created their films with reflex. Lynch calls it think-feeling (with a lot of hand gestures underneath). Both auteurs simply try to express what they and their characters feel through the medium of film, not paying attention or wanting to give explicit black and white meanings. So, their movies are great because of something inherent within them. They have stories, visions, we all want to know. In this sense we can see two types of artists. There's hackers who work a rough formula and find some success with a bit of luck. Then there are those who work at their craft, nurturing what is best defined as talent. Talent is quite an abstract idea, but one I believe in. I think there are some people who have qualities that make the stories they want to tell in the way they want to tell them, so appeasing, so attractive, absorbing to a mass audience. Look at Bruce Lee here. I don't think he found the success he did just off the back of his skill as a martial artist. He is notoriously one of the most charismatic figures of all time. This must have been a factor in his success, made him persuasive, a great screen presence, someone others would worship and idolise. We see this all the time. Who are your favourite actors/actresses? Common answers include Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr., Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Aniston. Why? Firstly they are all perfect human specimens - unbelievably attractive. But secondly, the way they carry themselves, talk, interact is incredibly charming. From Leonardo DiCaprio's calm and control to Jennifer Lawrence's chaotic honesty, these people can put up facades that win huge masses of people over, have them hide in bushes to get pictures of them and a myriad of other weird things. What has this got to do with Tarkovsky and Lynch? Moreover, what the hell does this have to to with Bill & Ted? Well, in all celebrities there's just something intangible, something special - a quality that all of us just don't have. It's in their genes and in their persona. In the same way this idea fuels a celebrity's facade, it fuels an artist's creative core. Lynch and Tarkovsky just have something other directors don't have. Now, the link to Bill & Ted here is that whilst Stephen Herek (director) Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson (writers) may have intentionally, or to the best of their ability, come up with something quite absurd, there's something inherent about them that produced something that's also secretly quite profound.

Now, before I go on, I obliviously don't know Stephen Herek, Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson. I wasn't there when they made and wrote this film. This means I don't know how intentional everything we're about to get into is. This is the beauty of art though. It's not just an artist's work, it belongs to both artist and audience with the product being open to interpretation. Moreover, all but Matheson went on to make other quite good films (Now You See Me, Men In Black, Critters, The Mighty Ducks). So, there is something of talent here. The main take away from this idea though is that we may all have a masterpiece in us, we just need to find it. Also, as Mark Kermode says, making a film doesn't mean you understand it. Watching is an art. Finding gold in the rough, being able to pull apart a piece of work is what makes critics artists in a certain sense. This means that watching films, T.V, reading books, seeing plays, paintings, is just as important as actually creating them. You need to be able to pull apart your own work, being able to see it as a ('talented') audience member does. Linklater makes a point of this. As a young filmmaker he would watch one, two or more films a day, making numerous shorts - and for years. This all led up to Slackers which is kind of amazing and proof in itself that whilst there may be something inherently special about Linklater as a writer/director, it had to be nurtured. Just food for thought. Anyway, let's get into Bill & Ted. We'll start with the opener. There's a strange gold thing that floats into frame that turns out to be the time travelling device. What is interesting is the parallels of this opening image and that of the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The way it slowly moves onto screen from the left with a faint glow reminded me of the entrance of the Star Child over Earth. But over that was not Also Sprach Zarathustra, oh no, it's Big Pig's, I Can't Breakaway. It's at this point I wanted scratch out the note, but I stopped myself. It makes perfect sense. This film is about the world being altered hugely, evolving almost--but not to the music of the stereotypically clever, but the stereotypically more average - kind of dumb in the case of Bill and Ted. This idea is perfectly captured by the movie's tagline:

History is about to be rewritten
by two guys who can't spell.

The crux of this film is essentially the anti-parallel of Idiocracy. In short, Idiocracy is set in a world where the clever guys die out leaving the idiots to watch the world deteriorate. The idea behind Bill and Ted is that the 'idiots' have a philosophy that can make the world a better place. And so, to change the future, history needs to be rewritten, monolithic historical figures need to change massively. What on Earth could provide such a profound shock to a system as to change a person's entire outlook - the way they impact the world? I don't know... maybe travelling into the future. Pretty deep, huh? So, before we jump into it, I'll just surmise. To create a perfect future, the past must be altered by two well-meaning, but slightly idiotic individuals. A good question to ask here is, how did who figure this out? The film has no answers, but maybe there was a trial and error process, or with some amazing computer program made available with 'modern technology' (that capable of building time machines) an algorithm could be derived to create a perfect present from the past. This would explain why everyone has such confidence in time travel and are never worried about screwing up the space time continuum. Everything that happens has been perfectly mapped out. So, what I'm about to do is try my hand at figuring out the knock on effects of this movie. I am no history major, but, with the aid of Google, I think I'll be able to produce an ok argument. Before that, I open up this idea to whoever's willing to run with it. Hopefully someone who knows more about history will put me to shame here, but let's not put me down before I get started.

The farthest back in time Bill & Ted go is the stone age, 1,000,000 B.C. This is a quick pit stop where the antenna of the time machine must be fixed. The traces left behind are minimal. However, two cavemen see the phone booth disappear AND they also have gum. Let's look at the gum first. Ancient (and not so ancient) civilisations chewed a version of gum made from the sap of trees: Greeks, Mayans, Northern American Indians, American settlers. Modern gum is supposed to have many bad side-effects - most due to additives and sugars. These problems are, in part, negatable as sap from trees doesn't contain artificial additives. There is however the claim that excessively chewing gum causes jaw problems, giving headaches. The, hold you breath, temporomandibular joint (TMJ)...

... controls jaw movement and over-strain of muscular fibres connected to this can contribute to headaches. Now, hold on to that thought. Our two cavemen witnessed a phone booth disappearing. That's a major event. Especially when considering the entire human population in 1 million B.C is thought to have been around 18,000-20,000 in total. (P.S this is where things get creative and come down to interpretation). Ok, so if two cavemen saw a phone booth flash out of existence, the only way they're going to be able to explain this phenomena is with magic. They'd create a myth, maybe a religion, centering around these beings that left them gum. The phone booth would become a religious symbol and chewing gum a ritual. There is only one piece of gum in all the world though. The archetype if you'll have it. Where will they get more? Tree sap. But, some sap is poisonous. Let's say this religion kicks off with a few pockets of humans over the generations, reaching a couple hundred individuals. We're going to have a tribe of hunter gatherer searching for the perfect sap, the one that doesn't kill them, that tastes as good as the archetype. A holy grail of sorts. When they find the variety of trees that give the closest resemblance the trees too will become holy. Over generations and generations the idea that trees and their sap are holy will strengthen. But, at the same time, the constant excessive chewing of gum may be causing a lot of headaches. Now, in short term, headaches may be attributed to a holy experience. People may seek out other means of getting them. Maybe smashing rocks, bits of wood together, making music, loud music, REALLY LOUD MUSIC!! Is that the seed of heavy metal? Is that what will popularise the music Bill and Ted love so much over time? Maybe. But, over the generations, the human's skull structure may change so that headaches aren't so common. This rift in people, those who get headaches and don't, may lead to holy wars, the punishment due (great reference, huh?) would be the eradication of a type of person, getting rid of a certain skull type. Who would win? Well, let's assume that the adaptation wouldn't be wide-spread and so the adapted individuals would be defeated. Maybe certain races flee to wider corners of the globe. What's left may be a huge group of religious cavemen who chew gum, get headaches, love them, and are quite good at war. They may form a huge empire, ruling a middle Earth of sorts. This leads us on to the next point in history...

410 B.C is where Socrates is picked up and most probably dropped off. Now, here's where huge problems open up. What happens with the timelines and everything that changes? Well, this is ultimately down to the imagination. But, let's assume that Rufus and the future human beings want to change the past with their time machine. Why? Their timeline couldn't possibly be changed by going back and helping Bill and Ted. Also, Bill and Ted don't go back in time in chronology, as in, they don't go back to 1,000,000 B.C and then 410 B.C. They go all over the place. This implies that the effect of time travel isn't felt in a current time line. Moreover, let's look at the end of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey here. Chuck De Nomolos also goes back in time. Are Bill and Ted also working against someone in their excellent adventure? I think not. Whilst it is shown that they can effect their own time line with Ted's dad's keys and most notably in the end of their Bogus Journey, they aren't always doing this. The most sensical explanation to this is that they are not effecting their own timeline. What we are witnessing is an experiment meant to change another time line. The people of the future society must love how their timeline turned out. In said timeline (a different universe) Bill and Ted were successful. Now, by some multiverse theories, there are infinite other universes with every single possible possibility played out within them. Remember that computer thing I was talking about, and how the future people may be constructing a perfect timeline? Well, maybe they are changing other timelines. Why? To replicate their own. We can see that, with this theory and their 'modern technology', the time machines must be able to not only pass through time, but space. If you can pass through space, why wouldn't you be able to pass into other universe? How? I can offer many explanations based off of ideas of black holes being roots to the other universe. I may also claim that it doesn't matter how. There is no clear force acting on the jump between spaces. What should it matter how far they go? However, it's never really paid attention to in the film. I'm sure that that's just because there wasn't the budget to do so (I joke). So, Bill and Ted can be thought to be affecting two timelines. There's their own (which we'll come back to later) and the variable, experimental one. You may even argue that each figure comes from a different timeline and so the effects of them being taken lead up to this calculated future identical to the one of the future society. This argument would mean that the society is creating multiple universe similar to theirs. Why? Well, if the world and universe beyond in 2688 are in peace, with alien races being contacted, then some amazing shit's got to be happening. What if the whole universe is connected, in complete peace? Don't let that blow your mind yet. What if multiple universe were connected, and in peace? Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Well, that's what we could be dealing with here.

However, there's still the argument that Bill and Ted are only affecting two universes. I think both are theories are valid and interesting so we're going to consider both throughout. We'll be able to see the additive effects of their time travel over time in one universe (single universe theory) then also the implied evidence of the one point in time affecting a universe enough to give the desired future (multiple universe theory). So, to reiterate, there are two theories that'll be working side by side. One which will result in one universe being changed by Bill and Ted's time travel (single universe theory). And then there will be a formula in which multiple universes are affected (multiple universe theory). With the idea that only one universe is being affected, that Beethoven, Freud, Lincoln and so on come from the same universe, we have to consider that the time has stopped. They are all extracted at the same time, and then put back simultaneously. This will allow a knock on effect stretching from the caveman forward. To clarify, the affects of going back to 1,000,000 B.C could be that the loud sounds and headaches inspired by Bill and Ted's contact, with their religion dominating throughout humanity, could lead to the desired future. In short, the seed of metal, and so the key to peace, was planted. But, let's consider the additive effect. Let's go back to 410 B.C....

So, Socrates has just come back from the future into a new world. This world is possibly similar to that of of the ancient Greek, but with a different religion of course. We can assume that Socrates would be able to fit back in. Now, there's got to be a lot of assumption here as we can't possibly consider all the factors of the imaginary situations--just the main ones. It's safe to do this though as we're not battling chance, the end goal is supposed to be a perfect civilisation calculated by that super computer from 2688. We're just joining the dots. Ok, Socrates rejoins society with his new found incite of the future. He tells all those who listen about the future, about the architecture, about electricity, food, the way of living in San Dimas '88 - which he loves. Maybe he revises his Socratic Method. The way in which he debates would be seriously affected by the fact that he knows what is to come to pass. What would he come to teach Plato and by virtue Aristotle? I won't attempt to get into the mind of some of the greatest thinkers of all time. Instead, let's use what the movie gives us. The core philosophy of the film is:

Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes.

Now, this all draws back to previous talks I've done. All the world's problems are so easily solved. All we have to do is agree not to do stuff like kill each other, rape, pillage, such and so on. The solution sounds stupid though because it goes against human nature. We have an inherent element of destruction about us. But, hold on, how could we change this? Well, surely it would take thousands of years of tentative social conditioning. Maybe that's what Socrates kicked off, what Plato, then Aristotle gave to the world. With this message we could see that (with the multiple universe theory) this alone could lead to a perfect society. However, what if the idea didn't take at first? What if Socrates was shunned, seen as a disturber of the peace, contorting the minds of youth. Maybe he'd meet a similar end to that we know. Maybe he become a Jesus-like figure, founding a new religion, a new way of thinking. Socrates would be able to confirm the already present beliefs, that there were these two figures from the future with a phone booth and gum. He would again divide the world leading to more holy wars. He may be killed as a heretic, but his ideas aren't insane are they? Maybe a lot of people agreed that maybe we do just need to be excellent to each other and have a good time about it. Maybe these folk won the holy war. How?

1209, Outer Mongolia. Holy war rages and one of the fiercest, empire founding, human beings ever steps into the picture - Genghis Khan. With added knowledge of skateboards, ice hockey, aluminium bats, fire arms, electricity, cars and so much more this guy is going to fuck some shit up. Major. Even if he is placed back in his actual place in history, he still has this knowledge. His Mongolian Empire may last forever, and led by a man with a new set of ideals. Maybe he doesn't completely subscribe to the 'be excellent to each other' mantra, but, 'party on'? Sounds like a fun period in history. But, let's jump back to the single universe theory. Let's say he annihilates the opposition. He'd obviously be sided with the Socratic descendants and so, when he takes over the world, that religious sect would reign. But, over the decades, centuries, the religious beliefs would be diluted slightly. The 'party on' factor, would start to quash this idea of being excellent to each other. So, to counter balance, let's jump forward again...

1429, Orleans, France. War again, war that may last a 100 years. It's being fought by fundamentalists and liberals. One side is more chaotic, the other seeking more peaceful times. Joan Of Arc comes back into the picture, her visions of what she assumes to be Gods (Bill & Ted), those of the Socratic fundamentalist description, tell her to join the war. She has great effect, rallying the fundamentalists, pulling the war back in balance. But, shit, she's captured by Khan liberals! They burn her at the stake and at only 19 years old. Her effect on the Socratic fundamentalist however, as said, was great. She implemented pioneering, rigorous, training programs, the knock on effect creating what was almost the perfect army. With their ex-leader as their new Saint to be avenged, they go on to win the 100 year war, quashing the Mongolian empire, re-instilling the Socratic ideal of being excellent to one another. Before moving on, let's deal with the multiple universe side of things. If Joan Of Arc was sent back to her real time and place, implementing new training programs, maybe the real 100 year war would have ended differently. And again, Joan carries the mantra of both being excellent and partying on. Without the Khan fundamentalists she wouldn't have to repeal that idea of partying on. She could lead the world toward world peace.

We're making good pace here, but the next stop in time is going to confuse things a little. Next we come to 15th century England. Now, it's never specified who's ruling England or the time. But, we can assume that the answer is that King Henry VII, and that we're in the late 15th century. We can infer this as he's referred to as King Henry and his daughter are 521 years old in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Take 500 from 1988 and you land on Henry's reign. However, Henry didn't have a daughter named Joanna, only Elizabeth. Now, I could dive deeper here, possibly coming up with a ludicrous solution, but I won't. This is because these two figures aren't essential to the single universe theory or the multiple one. Instead, I want to remind you that in the single universe theory there is actually two universes being manipulated. There is the one Bill and Ted come from as well as the variable one enduring Holy Wars over jaws, music and so on. To change the universe Bill and Ted are in, and to have the plot of the Bogus Journey happen, we need Bill and Ted to mature. This is done by giving them girlfriends. And so, the way in which Bill and Ted's reality reaches peace is the ridiculous story in the Bogus Adventure. But, there's one detail I skipped over here. The ambiguity given by this segment of story (there being no time references given) comes down to the fact that we're in an alternative universe a little different from the one we're used to. In this universe King Henry had two daughters, one named Elizabeth and the other Joanna. Why could this universe be disturbed? There's a gap for you to fill. I assume it must be worthwhile collateral damage. Either way, the two women are there to contribute to the peace of Bill and Ted's universe. That settled, lets move on...

We next come to a crucial moment in the history of the single universe. Over the last 400 hundred years the world has been working well toward world peace, but there are still a few issues. After overthrowing the Mongolian empire, as inspired by Joan, Socratic fundamental law was rewritten, putting emphasis on being excellent to one another. There were contractions though and the remaining Khan liberals were put into a judicial system by which they essentially become slaves. Over the years, this became less acceptable. Once the empire had settled, some thought law needed to change. People started to revolt. Civil wars broke out across many states, the largest of which was in what we call America and France. It was all over the enslavement of Khan liberal descendants and the laws that needed revision. In comes Lincoln and in comes Napoleon. Lincoln first in 1803, driving a whole content away from ideas of slavery, inspiring a nation with the forgotten mantra: be excellent to each other (and this was the bit Lincoln really love to emphasise) AND PART ON, DUDES!! Civil war died down, plans of a better future were given rise to. A radical section of Socratic fundamentalism was revisited by Lincoln. He emphasised this idea of the future, technology, a civil and developed world. America industrialised rapidly under Futurist Lincoln ideals. This too would happen in our multiple universe theory. The Futurist ideals lead America to the forefront of the world both technologically and morally, eventually allowing the nation to secure world peace.

Meanwhile, across the pond, (back in single universe theory) revolutionary wars aren't going well. America is changing but Europe holds on to it's fundamentalist roots tightly. France is the capital state leading a conservative, 'excellence before partying' ideal. This is held onto tightly with Joan Of Arc as the lasting image of the nation. War only worsened. 1805. Napoleon returns from the future. He does not like the elitist society, he has no time for conservative, purist law. He wants to build the worlds largest water slide park. But, issues concerning sanitation and the fact that the French are not going to let a country full of people run around half naked in and out of water, are stopping him in his tracks. Yeah, Napoleon is not happy. He doesn't accept France as is, he revitalises the revolutionary war and in a matter of years the fundamentalists are out. Immediately, Napoleon's implementing plans to create his water park, reinstating the 'party on' mantra. There are major issues with sanitation however, Europe is falling apart. Futurist America looks on, unwilling to help, busy expanding their own economy. With a jump to multiple universe theory, if Napoleon came back to his own time with this absurd idea of water parks and fun before anything, well, he would have changed the world, driving it toward world peace eventually possibly. His campaigns in the revolutionary war would become a smidgen on his record. A French Empire may rise, teaching the world the importance of good food, fashion and water parks.

Back to single universe theory. 1810. The world's not in great shape, it's splitting into a clear East and West, but not in the way we know it. The West consists of America and part of Asia. First Japan and then what we call China took on Futurists ideals, this solidified the west. The east were led by Napoleon who was growing slightly mad with power, commanding Europe and a large bulk of Asia. In the west (America/Asia) Futurism was giving birth to amazing technology. In a matter of years quantum theory was born and made huge leaps, the electrical age was born. Meanwhile, the east is really falling behind and they don't know how to reach out for help. Back comes Ludwig Van Beethoven. He's seen the future. He knows of the miracle that is electricity, and how it affects music. His country is in ruins though, he turns to religion for answers, trawling through old and new texts, coming upon ancient traditions of music, of rituals of spiritual enlightenment through chronic headaches. In an immense burst of creativity he writes and writes, composing masterpiece after masterpiece, but, it's nothing he can play with the crappy technology his country has. He reaches out for sponsorship, to the west. Scholars see his work, they bring him out of Germany, giving him access to everything he needs to record his work. Years down the line, his works are published, the world is given the most excellent music it has ever heard, we're talking Moonlight Sonata extended across a dozen albums infused with electrical vibes, turned up to 11 with crazy heavy metal influences. His beliefs system starts to take too. At his concerts he adheres to old traditions, playing music to the point of giving people headaches for the sake of a spiritual experience. This aligns perfectly with Futurist ideals, the forgotten but not lost idea of chewing gum comes back in a massive way. With Beethoven as the front man of the endeavor, chewing gum is reinvented. It's better than anything we could imagine. Beethoven is a huge political figure by this point. He urges that his homeland be given aid. And so the west moves into east, treaties between Napoleon and Lincoln are signed, Beethoven played the biggest concert ever recorded at the signing. A year down the line he tops it at the opening of the world's largest water park. Over the decades, the strides towards world peace are immense. It may not last though... Before that, let's look at the multiple world theory. If Beethoven was sent back in time to revolutionise music as we know it, well, as the film makes clear, music is the key toward world peace. And who better to give us that than Beethoven?

Ok, we're running up to the 20th century in the single word theory, and it's 1879. Billy The Kid is beamed back to a world that's entirely nuts. The Beethoven craze still has a strong hold. Small pockets of people are taking religious belief to extremes though, they are dying, sacrificing themselves with over-exposure to loud sounds. They're essentially melting their brains. Coupled with this there's a huge cover up in the chewing gum industry. Research is starting to indicate that the artificial additives being consumed in the hundred of megtonnnes, daily, is not too good for people. It's contributing to jaw cancer, lesions in the brain and obesity. The world is so consumed in itself that very few want to accept the fact. Billy The Kid comes into the world with dry eyes and is completely flabbergasted as to how the world got into this state. He joins a small group of people who see the terrible effects, who suspect governmental corruption. With Billy's aid the organisation grows exponentially, but they are seen as nothing more than delusional extremists. With Billy as the CEO of the corporation, he's growing crazy. No matter how much credibility his company gains, no matter how much research they produce, the world laughs. After 20 years of trying Billy withdraws. He leaves the company and they start to decline. The world only grows worse. The hysteria, religious extremists, corruption deepens... no one cares. Everyone is being excellent to one another, and damn do they know how to party on. But they just can't see how they are destroying themselves and their planet. Now, Billy's story in the multiple universe theory centers on the Lincoln County War. With knowledge of past and present, Billy becomes very interested in law, politics, philosophy, looking up his old pal, Socrates. On the fourth day of the Battle Of Lincoln a ceasefire was called, negotiations were held, but Billy deceived the law, took over the county, but he didn't run rampant. He was transfixed by this idea of civilisation, of philosophical debate. He changed the world.

1901. Single universe theory. The world is a mess. Billy's gone, his company is sinking. Back comes Freud. The mass hysteria to him is solvable though. Over many years he published numerous books on the subconscious nature of the human mind. The near dead company Billy set up gains interest over Freudian theory. They give him access to their facilities. Over half a decade the company is reborn and with new cause. The Napoleonic conglomerates are starting to fear what the company are capable of. Plans are implemented to have them be quashed again, but, out of hiding Billy comes. With a small militia, he assassinates numerous heads of state, huge businessmen, revealing millions of pages of documentation, exposing the lie the world lives. He's executed a martyr. The world is however given perspective, the extremist religious views die out within a few generations. Religion itself is rationalised, Billy's old company, lead by Freud goes on to form the first scientific political party. Decades down the line, the world has united, governed by science, keeping religious teachings close to heart...

Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes.

In the multiple universe theory. Freud when sent back dedicated his life to the revision of his psychosexual theory. He was tainted by the memory of Socrates looking down on him, calling him geek. How could one of the greatest thinkers of all time look down on him? Theories he developed were all centred on male/female relations and how best we must get along. With his fundamental ideas, feminism was negated, no one needed it. Through Freudian theory came an idea of equality and peace that no one could refute. World peace was born from relations between the sexes.

Wow... we just went on some trip. The end results are either a vast network of universes connected by the great ones, Bill and Ted - or just three (single universe theory). Either way history has been rewritten. Now, whilst this is all good fun here, basically fan fiction, the message of the film is very clear. Whilst the back story is down to us, the idea behind Bill and Ted is peace, is this simple endeavour for a universal agreement on what we want from from life. We want fun, and we want comfort. That is the crux of the film and by feeding through variations of time travel theory, this is what becomes obvious. So...

Am I insane? Did I look too far into things? Have I missed something? Could my version of this back story be better? Tell me what you think in the comments below, or at...

I'd like to thank Google for this post as without you this wouldn't be possible.

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