The Terrible Movies I Watched In 2018
The end of the year is approaching, so it is time to put 2018 into review. We will open lightly with a look at some of the worst movies I came across this year. As last year, we are not going to just list off bad movies from 2018. There a thousand lists out there doing just this. We're going to look back at some of the bad movies covered on this blog and in the End of the Week Shorts. I hope you enjoy...
Lady Bird (2017)
Empathy is hard when it comes to stupidity; it's even harder when you're being told that this is you.
The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959)
A chillingly sad insight into a certain man's mind, The Immoral Mr. Teas may as well be anti-pornographic.
The Astounding She-Monster (1957)
Alluring poster, mind-numbing film.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
Just thinking of this film fills me with odium. A great embodiment of human weakness, emotional frailty and logical farcity.
Cinderella (1977)
Entertainingly lewd. If you don't know what a snapper is, Cinderella has much to teach.
Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)
An exemplar of wasted cinematic potential, Pacific Rim is just a disappointment.
A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1994)
Well-constructed trash, A Chinese Torture Chamber Story doesn't just boast exploding penises, but drops the mic with wuxia-style sex-fights that can but be pounded into memory.
Pulgasari (1985)
Beyond the man waddling about a set in a plastic costume is symbolism of a somewhat interesting character... but still a man waddles about in a plastic monster costume.
The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967)
French New Wave pretence ruins the musical. Jazz sucks. What did you do Gene Kelly?
The worst from The End Of The Week Shorts...
The Room (2003)
Not as bad as everyone wants you to think it is; far from as funny too. Plain terrible; nothing special.
Wings of Desire (1987)
As lauded and respected as Wings of Desire apparently is, I cannot lie and say anything other than this is a sentimental bore.
Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Fascinating, but trashy nonetheless. Who knew Elvis was such a knob?
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Russ Meyers lays himself bare again with his absurd cinematic self-gratification. Prime American trash.
Killer Condom (1996)
Maybe more absurd than the premise is the German perspective of New York.
They Came From Beyond Space (1967)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 1.
Tales From The Crypt (1972)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 2.
Funeral Parade Of Roses (1969)
A film so artistically opaque, I can't recall a single frame.
Reptilicus (1961)
My head still rattles with the repetitious clapping of crappy war scenes.
Orgy of the Dead (1965)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 3.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
I would serve time in jail just so I could make peace with this movie. Just give me a room, some time and a heavy object.
Slashdance (1989)
Better than The Greatest Showman.
Amy Schumer: The Leather Special (2017)
A great low in stand-up comedy. My sense of humour may have just been scarred by this indefensible trash.
The Valley of the Gwangi (1969)
It's Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs... and I don't remember who won, I do remember a horse jumping dozens of feet into a tiny swimming pool though - and with a woman on its back.
Ishq (1997)
"Mr. Lova Lova" destroys what little credibility and fun this has about it - no amount of Kajol's eyebrows can save the day.
Animal House (1978)
Ugh.
Red Desert (1964)
What a pretentious, boring fart this makes Antonioni appear to be. Incredibly bland and asks for too much.
The Book Of Life (2014)
Self-righteously scummy, The Book of Life is deathly annoying - it also makes me want to watch bulls being killed.
Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982)
Alluring Poster, Mind-Numbing Film Strikes Back Again.
Krrish (2006)
I still can't articulate how terrible this is. What a fool Roshan is.
The Legend of the Fist (2010)
The film I regret putting on this list most. Simply not Donnie Yen at his best.
Sausage Party (2016)
Couldn't even finish it.
Foxy Brown (1974)
Something has gone terribly wrong when an exploitation film just makes you sad. Poor Foxy. Too much rape.
Meet The Blacks (2016)
As bad as this is, it works. Can't say I care for the sequel, however.
Mac and Devin Go To High School (2012)
Another Snoop Dogg cinematic work... and wow. If any more people see this, weed may be illegalised globally.
Raja Hindustani (1996)
New-born babies can't be involved in fight scenes. They can't.
Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai (2000)
Roshan is such a fool.
Batman Ninja (2018)
Who invited Batman into a Power Rangers movie?
Rang De Basanti (2006)
Another one that I couldn't finish. Fuck Sue.
Overboard (2018)
Eugenio Derbez and Anna Faris provide some of the worst performances in a watchable film possible. It's almost respectable.
Previous post:
End Of The Week Shorts #89
Next post:
End Of The Week Shorts #90
More from me:
amazon.com/author/danielslack
Lady Bird (2017)
Empathy is hard when it comes to stupidity; it's even harder when you're being told that this is you.
The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959)
A chillingly sad insight into a certain man's mind, The Immoral Mr. Teas may as well be anti-pornographic.
The Astounding She-Monster (1957)
Alluring poster, mind-numbing film.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
Just thinking of this film fills me with odium. A great embodiment of human weakness, emotional frailty and logical farcity.
Cinderella (1977)
Entertainingly lewd. If you don't know what a snapper is, Cinderella has much to teach.
Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)
An exemplar of wasted cinematic potential, Pacific Rim is just a disappointment.
A Chinese Torture Chamber Story (1994)
Well-constructed trash, A Chinese Torture Chamber Story doesn't just boast exploding penises, but drops the mic with wuxia-style sex-fights that can but be pounded into memory.
Pulgasari (1985)
Beyond the man waddling about a set in a plastic costume is symbolism of a somewhat interesting character... but still a man waddles about in a plastic monster costume.
The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967)
French New Wave pretence ruins the musical. Jazz sucks. What did you do Gene Kelly?
The worst from The End Of The Week Shorts...
The Room (2003)
Not as bad as everyone wants you to think it is; far from as funny too. Plain terrible; nothing special.
Wings of Desire (1987)
As lauded and respected as Wings of Desire apparently is, I cannot lie and say anything other than this is a sentimental bore.
Jailhouse Rock (1957)
Fascinating, but trashy nonetheless. Who knew Elvis was such a knob?
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Russ Meyers lays himself bare again with his absurd cinematic self-gratification. Prime American trash.
Killer Condom (1996)
Maybe more absurd than the premise is the German perspective of New York.
They Came From Beyond Space (1967)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 1.
Tales From The Crypt (1972)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 2.
Funeral Parade Of Roses (1969)
A film so artistically opaque, I can't recall a single frame.
Reptilicus (1961)
My head still rattles with the repetitious clapping of crappy war scenes.
Orgy of the Dead (1965)
So boring, it takes the fun out of obscure obviously-not-great-movies part 3.
The Greatest Showman (2017)
I would serve time in jail just so I could make peace with this movie. Just give me a room, some time and a heavy object.
Slashdance (1989)
Better than The Greatest Showman.
A great low in stand-up comedy. My sense of humour may have just been scarred by this indefensible trash.
The Valley of the Gwangi (1969)
It's Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs... and I don't remember who won, I do remember a horse jumping dozens of feet into a tiny swimming pool though - and with a woman on its back.
Ishq (1997)
"Mr. Lova Lova" destroys what little credibility and fun this has about it - no amount of Kajol's eyebrows can save the day.
Animal House (1978)
Ugh.
Red Desert (1964)
What a pretentious, boring fart this makes Antonioni appear to be. Incredibly bland and asks for too much.
The Book Of Life (2014)
Self-righteously scummy, The Book of Life is deathly annoying - it also makes me want to watch bulls being killed.
Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982)
Alluring Poster, Mind-Numbing Film Strikes Back Again.
Krrish (2006)
I still can't articulate how terrible this is. What a fool Roshan is.
The Legend of the Fist (2010)
The film I regret putting on this list most. Simply not Donnie Yen at his best.
Sausage Party (2016)
Couldn't even finish it.
Foxy Brown (1974)
Something has gone terribly wrong when an exploitation film just makes you sad. Poor Foxy. Too much rape.
Meet The Blacks (2016)
As bad as this is, it works. Can't say I care for the sequel, however.
Another Snoop Dogg cinematic work... and wow. If any more people see this, weed may be illegalised globally.
Raja Hindustani (1996)
New-born babies can't be involved in fight scenes. They can't.
Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai (2000)
Roshan is such a fool.
Batman Ninja (2018)
Who invited Batman into a Power Rangers movie?
Rang De Basanti (2006)
Another one that I couldn't finish. Fuck Sue.
Overboard (2018)
Eugenio Derbez and Anna Faris provide some of the worst performances in a watchable film possible. It's almost respectable.
Previous post:
End Of The Week Shorts #89
Next post:
End Of The Week Shorts #90
More from me:
amazon.com/author/danielslack
