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The cost of sanity: a breaking body; achy legs, sore ribs, swollen head, cramped feet and strained tendons; folding flesh, gut and back; wheezing airways, insides clogged with sugar and fat, wheat and grain; family held a distance, unfulfilled and confused; dreams dashed and neutered; aspirations kept in check; countless hours before luminous screens of nonsense and nothing; the vast majority of all time thrown to the waste; thoughts and conversation thrown against a wall like a tennis ball trying to return to the hand giving it direction; the trade of sub-addictions; indulgence and forgetfulness; forgiveness and meaninglessness; pleasure and pain; physical beatings; blood and the absence of tears in the small shed out back of my self sorrow; a sooner death; an emptier life; grand stupidity. Is this time well spent? What is the cost of insanity? What is it all worth?